All's well that ends well
by deLattre
Summary: A short story based on the 1994 movie 'The Little Rascals.' Takes place between the award ceremony and Alfalfa's reconciliation with Darla, and fleshes out a little bit the resolution of the boys-girls conflict. As usual, comments and suggestions are welcome.


Euphoric. That was the word the Little Rascals would have used to describe their present mood, if any of them had known what the word meant. Scotty and Buckwheat were whooping and and chanting 'smoley-oley'. Stymie and Uh-uh gave each other a hug, and Froggy and Porky were giggling unreservedly. Everyone else was heaping praise on Alfalfa and Spanky, sharing their visions for the new clubhouse, and running their hands on the trophy.

Alfalfa, however, wasn't quite ready to celebrate. His eyes were fixed on the right corner of the spectator stands, where an out-of-breath Waldo was begging Darla for forgiveness. He was down on his knees, extending cotton candy and a stuffed bear towards Darla.

Alfalfa was bursting to intervene and sabotage Waldo's efforts, but he resisted. Even if she did the smart thing and dumped the rich brat, that wouldn't heal the rift between her and Alfalfa. There was only one possible way to set things right: let Darla in the He Man Woman Hater's club. He thus took a seat near Spanky, who for some reason appeared more thoughtful than happy.

"What's the matter, Spanky? We won the race! You're not upset that Ferguson kissed you, are you?"

"No of course not! protested Spanky, blushing at the recent memory. "It's just that…I still can't believe she's a girl. All that courage and reflexes and nerves of steel she must have. I feel like my world's just been turned topside. How can she be a race-car champion?"

"Hey, I was kind of surprised too." admitted Alfalfa. "But it just goes to show that I was right along, doesn't it?" He cracked a wide, nervous grin.

"Huh? What do you mean, 'Falf'?"

"I kept telling you girls aren't so bad as we make 'em out to be. We have a lot in common, and they can be a ton of fun. " He paused, expecting some sort of approval from his pal.

But Spanky merely shrugged dismissively. "You can't generalize. Just because one girl is cool, doesn't mean the rest of them are."

"Well what about Darla? She's a terrific driver. She got second place in the race, remember?"

"Big deal. She had a better go-cart than us."

"So did Butch and Woim, and we beat them hands down."

"Yeah but...alright, point taken." Then, at once, the expression on Spanky's face brightened like the sky after a thunderstorm. "Oh I get it. You want us to let you hang out with Darla again, don't you?"

"No, I just wanted to ask you if she could join the club." said Alfalfa, briskly but casually.

The smile on Spanky's face vanished as rapidly as it had appeared. "Is that supposed to be a joke? Please tell me it is."

"No. Why would I be joking?"

"Do you know how many friends Darla has?"

"About seven or eight, I think. Why?"

"Because if she gets in, all her friends will follow, and it'll be the end of our club." the other boy retorted, standing up on his heels and baring his fists.

Disappointment washed over Alfalfa. So Spanky had learned nothing from his encounter with Ferguson. Very well then. He would just bypass him. "You know what, forget it. I'll just ask the rest of the club." With that, Alfalfa stood up and strode three steps to the part of the enclosure where his friends were milling about.

"Listen up guys!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. "I want to make an amendment to the club constitution. From now on, girls are allowed. All in favor?"

A series of boos and disgusted grimaces greeted Alfalfa. Perhaps he had spoken too quickly.

"So we can play with barbies and bracelets everyday?"

"Let girls in? We might as well shut down the club!"

"Enough is enough already!"

"You can bring in Ferguson, but that's it!"

"Now hold on!" Alfalfa insisted over their protests. "I just wanted to make Darla a member, no one else."

But Spanky wouldn't let himself be bypassed so easily. He waved his arms in refusal. "I just told you Alfalfa: if we let in Darla, the other girls will want in too."

Meanwhile those pesky friends of Darla- Mary Ann, Mary Kate, Ashley Olsen, and Jane-had crept over to the Rascals while they were talking. Darla and Walo were nowhere to be seen, although the cotton candy and stuffed bear lay abandoned on the stands.

"He's got a point Alfalfa." agreed Mary Ann, crossing her arms and swishing her brown hair to and fro. "If I know Darla, and I do, she won't join your group unless the rest of us are allowed in too. You have to take a stand. No wimping out this time."

Alfalfa felt a spurt of anger appear alongside his determination. "Are you calling me a wimp? I just punched Butch into a pig pen!"

But Mary Ann dismissed his retort with a wave of her hand. "Big deal! Anyone can act tough when they're surrounded by friends." she uttered coyly.

Alfalfa felt himself grow hot in the face. Apparently Mary Ann had been hanging out with Waldo too much. It was time to remind her that he was a male, just a sensitive one. "So you think my fight was a fluke? Well you're dead wrong!" Puffing his chest, he addressed the entire group of kids. "I say we open the club to all girls. Who's with me?"

Naturally however, most of the boys gasped in indignation. Then the chorus of protests resumed, louder than before.

Buckwheat smacked his forehead. "Oh my God! I can't believe what I am hearing!"

"Give them a chance to prove themselves!" cried Alfalfa valiantly. "A test period!"

Stymie leapt atop the lowest stand. "Mister President, let the records show that Alfalfa has broken the terms of his probation. I say we go back to the original sentence. Execution at dawn!"

Spanky didn't respond, but tugged at Alfalfa's sleeve impatiently. "Come on Alfalfa. Just forget it. Let's go celebrate our victory."

"Spanky I need your help. Come on, you're the president!"

Spanky bit his lips and darted his eyes back and forth between the club's members and Alfalfa. "I can't help you. This rule's been in place since the beginning of time!"

Alfalfa's heart sank. This plan of his was supposed be a formality, but he hadn't counted on the guys acted so thick-headed.

It was obvious he should never have accepted Spanky's invitation to join the club, six months ago. But the lure of spending more time his friends, of going on adventures with them and of learning to protect himself from the bullies had been too great to resist.

Now the downside of his acceptance had reared its ugly-head once more. But he wasn't going to give up without a fight. They had no right to force him to choose between them and Darla. It was too cruel and inhumane.

"Listen to me!" he shouted once more. "We can compromise. What if the girls agreed to act more like boys?"

Predictably, the girls looked none too happy at this idea. Mary Ann gave a barely polite cough. "Excuse us?"

But at least they were willing to listenn. And the boy's group's clamoring had faded, to be replaced by a ripple of puzzled murmurs. "Now you're just getting desperate, Alfalfa!" croaked Froggy. "Why don't you change summer into winter while you're are it."

"No, no. What I mean is, let everyone do whatever they want during meetings. If you want to wrestle or play with bugs, that's fine. If you want play with barbies, that's also fine. No more restrictions, except for group activities!"

"We could live with that, as long you boys don't mind sharing and _listening_ to us. And as long as you change that stupid name." considered Mary Ann.

On the other side, Porky, Buckwheat, and Petey made retching noises, and Froggy shook his head in crestfallen disbelief. "Spanky, tell me this isn't happening."

"What do you say, Mister President?" Alfalfa prodded Spanky, who seemed lost by the turn of events.

"I guess it couldn't hurt. But they'll have to promise not to gossip and giggle." answered Spanky crankily.

"Okay." Mary Ann declared. "We promise not to gossip or to giggle at you." She and the other girls promptly burst into giggles, causing Alfalfa's friends to cringe or roll their eyes.

Stymie heaved an enormous sigh and raised his arms to the sky. "Okay. Fine. I'm going with what our president says. I can't believe I'm saying this, but the club is open to girls. For now."

The girls exchanged high fives, with the exception of Jane.

"Way to go Mary Ann!" rhapsodized Mary Kate. "I've been wanting to get into this club for years."

Head tilted and lips tightly clenched, Jane brought her emphatic voice into the conversation. "Do you really wanna hang out with these goofballs, Mary Kate? Cause I don't think I want to."

"Come on Jane." Mary Kate said crossly. "Just because you had a bad experience once-"

"It's not just me. We all have."

"Well this'll be different. I promise." assured Mary Ann.

No one else seemed to particularly share the girls' enthusiasm, but it didn't matter. The hard work was done. And so Alfalfa grinned and punched the air for joy. "Come on everyone! Let's go celebrate this agreement with some ice cream."

As the children left the award enclosure- together but in silence- Spanky ushered Stymie to the side. "Don't worry." the President whispered to his second-in command. "I won't let them change our traditions. If they try, I'll throw them out faster than you can say no girls allowed."

The initial awkwardness soon gave way to handshakes and polite chatter. But near the ice-cream concession stands Mary Ann took advantage of a funny joke made by Alfalfa to assure Mary Kate and Jane. "Just wait. By the end of the month we'll have them sharing and getting along. We just have to be patient."


End file.
